


feel

by aeitric



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Eren has cancer, M/M, this will not have a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-14 00:13:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4542855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeitric/pseuds/aeitric
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not your average one shot. (Hopefully.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	feel

Eren was a simple boy. He played baseball, he had a good group of friends. Girls liked him, and his family was together. Oh yes, and he also had soft tissue sarcomas in both of his legs. Now, this part was not part of an average and or simple boy. Sarcomas if you did not know is a kind of tumor, it's cancer. Eren had it in his legs. That means, according to the doctor, he'd feel a slight tingling in his legs and then after a few months he'd just end up losing feeling overall in his legs, rendering him unable to walk. Then after a few more months, he would die. But, the nurse had told poor Eren, it would be a painless death. So in turn, the nurse had told Eren that his legs would go numb and then he would fall over and die. But it would be  _painless,_ so it's alright.

As if.

Eren spent his days pushing his wheelchair around the halls, doing wheelies and rushing down those flat tilted things made for wheelchairs. He wasn't really upset about the fact he would be dead in a year, because no one else seemed to. For the first two months, he had plenty of visitors. His mother, sister, friends from school. Even Jean and Connie from the baseball team showed up with a cake. Eren was too tired to reach up that day, but it probably said something like,  _Sorry you got cancer._ It seemed like a Connie thing.

Now, while Eren was doing his wheelies, Levi Ackerman's mother was taking her final breaths. Now, I know what you expect. Levi stepping out of the room teary-eyed, seeing Eren, and wham. Love at first sight that heals Eren and brings Levi's mother back form the dead so she can wear that one dress she's always wanted to wear but never had the chance to. Well, the truth is, when Levi stepped out of the room, he was looking for a nurse to tell him how to get to the nearest bridge. 

Levi was a simple man. He played chess, and had two friends. Cats liked him, and his family was dead. Simple indeed.

Now, this is where the two meet. Eren was about to preform the sickest wheelie on a wheelchair in history when he saw Levi. Sad Levi just standing outside his mother's hospital room with a flat line in the background. See, Eren has dealt with a good amount of sad people seeing as his new home was a hospital bed. When Levi looked at Eren, though? Who knows what he was thinking. Whatever it was must have been insane because he picked Eren up and out of his wheelchair and strode out of the hospital after telling the nurse at the desk he was Eren's brother.

The car ride was awkward.

The two didn't fight, they just conversed back and forth. What's your name? How old are you? Questions that were just getting to know the other, nothing invasive. At one point, as they were turning onto a highway, Eren told Levi that he would lose feeling in his legs and then he would die. That he had a year. That the only thing he'd do to Levi was hurt him.

Levi told Eren that when his legs would go numb he would carry him, and when he was to die he'd bury him. That they'd travel the world together in his beat up pick up truck. That it would be a magical moment for such a thing as Eren to hurt him.

And travel the world in his beat up pick up truck they did. I'm not going to write everything out for you, but I will pick out my favorite moments between the two. In New York, when Eren's legs were still good. They climbed the steps to the top of Lady Liberty and reenacted the Titanic scene where Rose is being an idiot and Jack, even more so. In Egypt, where they bought a camera and took selfies with the pyramids. I should tell you now that this trip was being funded by Levi's dead mother. When she died her money went to Levi because he was the only living connected relative. Levi was determined to get rid of it all. In turn, he was going to travel the world but when he saw Eren, he figured he needed a friend. A beautiful friend with green eyes and dusty brown hair. Yeah, that was why.

In France, where Levi showed off his impressive display of French that consisted of mostly swear words and food items. It is also important to tell you that in some rusty rundown motel that Levi only agreed to sleep in because Eren liked the aesthetic of it, as Eren watched Levi chase a small bug with a shoe, Eren was falling in deep for Levi. I am convinced that Levi was in deep loving shit as soon as he saw Eren sitting in his wheelchair, about to do the coolest fucking wheelie this world has ever seen.

In Sweden, where Levi carried Eren up the stairs of the Turning Torso, and then threatened to throw him off when Eren tickled his sides, fascinated by how such a person could be ticklish in such a common place. This would also be the place where they first kissed but I'm not going to describe that. Firstly, it is kind of private, and secondly, it was all teeth and tongue and just very lacking in the romantic section.

In Russia where Eren took his first shot of whiskey and Levi took his hundredth. Eren drunkenly told Levi he loved him and Levi soberly said the same. 

In San Francisco where the year was almost up. They sat on a hill, talking of everything and nothing at all. Eren's legs were long gone, he had lost them a little bit before Sweden. They spoke of all the nights where they sat in the trunk of the beat up pick up truck and laid under the stars. Eren told Levi he was going to die tonight. Levi told him he would bury him. He had a shovel from all the times his mother had gone camping, it was probably rusty and dirty but he's use it anyways. Now I will use dialog because I happened to like Levi's words.

Eren sat up, turning on his side to face Levi. "Was it worth it?"

Levi was slumped against his knees, and he didn't turn to face Eren.

"Eren, when I was in the hospital on that day, my mother had just died. I didn't know where to go or what to do, I just wanted to escape from here. I saw you in that scrappy old wheelchair, and I just thought,  _if that kid can do a god damned wheelie that the world has ever seen in the middle of a fucking hospital, I can keep going._ That's what I thought. You'll read all this romantic bull, and it will trick you into thinking that love is poetry and romantic words, but it isn't. That just isn't the truth. Love is pain and worry and crying but Hell if it worth it, all of it. Sure, poetry can make you feel better but in reality, love strings and burns you until the world has dissolved around you and the only things left are you and the person you love. That's you." _  
_

Levi turned to face Eren, laying his hands on the sides of the boy's face, cupping his cheeks.

"When I was younger and people would ask me to choose between one thing or another, I'd tell them that I would just put the two together and make one so I wouldn't have to choose. When I am with you, that is what I do. You and I are not two separates, we combine as one. Our hearts align. For most people, that's when the sappy stuff happens, but for us? It's just two becoming one. And that's okay, because I don't need sappy stuff. I just need you."

Now is when Eren starts crying. Remember when I told you that Eren wasn't afraid of dying because no one else was? Well, now he knew that someone cared more then he ever could and couldn't do anything about it. He would die tonight. It would be painless for one of them. Two hearts beating would fade into one and it scare both of them.

So Eren cried, diamonds swimming in emeralds.

After an hour, it was time. Eren felt his lungs slowing down, as if covered in syrup. He sat against the tree next to the two and took deep breaths. "Levi, I want you to do something for me. Do you remember that house we saw in the woods, between the trees?" Levi did remember. He pointed it out to Eren and how it looked like it was made out of Linkin Logs. He nodded. "Go find it. I'll be waiting. I promise. I love you. I love you."

And then Eren's heartbeat slowed and Eren was dead.

Levi didn't cry as he dug the hole at the bottom of the hill or as he laid Eren in it. He didn't cry as the stone for Eren's tomb was being chiseled, or as he set it in. He didn't cry as he bought the house off the couple who had recently had a baby and wanted to move out soon anyways. He looked out the window, at the trees below him and mountains before him. He closed his eyes tightly and turned around. When he opened them, the living room before him, he could almost catch a silhouette sitting on the couch with green eyes and dusty brown hair, smiling at him like he was the sun.

And Levi cried.

* * *

 

Now, let's go back to the grave where a couple had just found a tombstone with the words "Eren Jaeger," a line down, "Son. Lover. Human." Below that was a box.

It really was a simple box. It was a brown box covered with waterproof tape and a lid. The couple opened the box and low and behold, it was filled to the brim with letters. I'm going to read a few now.

 

" _Dear Eren,_

_The house is doing well. It's been a week since you have passed away and I'm not doing great. I still love you._

_Love, Levi."_

 

_"Dear Eren,_

_The house is doing good. It's been a month since you passed. Hanji says I need to talk to someone. Erwin says the same. I still love you._

_Love Levi."_

_"Dear Eren,_

_The house is well. It's been three months since you passed. I went to a yoga class today and the instructor looked like you. But it's okay. I still love you._

_Love, Levi."_

 

The box was stuffed with letters all the way up to five years. I will read you the last letter put into the box.

 

" _Dear Eren,_

_I love you._

_Love, Levi."_

 

No more letters were put into the box. The tomb broke in half a few years later and the house was broken into, Levi getting stabbed and bleeding out onto the wooden floor. No one was happy, and it turns out it just wasn't meant to be.

 

**Author's Note:**

> im gonna be honest with you it wasnt supposed to be this sad.


End file.
